Developer: MrCiastku
Publisher: Ultimate Games S.A.
Platform: PC
Tested on: PC
Wanking Simulator – Review
‘Cranking one out before making life-altering decisions’; these are some wise words that linger on the Internet. A teen with raging hormones will surely know what it is to discover their new power, but what if they use it to take over the world? Your character in Wanking Simulator is fed up with it all and is going to blow his load all over the place to literally fuck the world.
Story
Gay Bay used to be a nice place where everyone was allowed, but now it is filled with haters and terrorists. You are on a journey of revenge against all those who have done you wrong and kicked you out of the town. There isn’t much story to the game and events are loosely tied together, which feels a lot like the old Postal games. The absence isn’t that bad as you will have enough fun during gameplay.
Graphics
The graphics are pretty simple, assets are colorful and there are a bunch of different characters, unique to each venue. The population is a mix between the most flamboyant people you have ever seen and the average American citizen. There are a handful of different items and when you take drugs, the game completely drops you into an acid trip. Effects are extremely cool with explosions being more exciting than most action movies.
Sound
The sound is a bit of a hit and miss as the music is pretty bland and can bore you quite quickly, but it is different on each venue. The voice acting is pretty decently handled and the sound effects are also moderately nice. A better soundtrack would surely make the game gain some extra points yet having only one song on repeat isn’t that bad (if you mute the music).
Gameplay
Wanking Simulator isn’t an 18+ title as you might expect but it is a sandbox game where you complete objectives in order to progress to the next level. You are pretty free to do what you want but to get your point across, you will have to use some violence. In your arsenal, there are three types of weapons. First, you can punch, kick or smash your way through enemies with either your fists or some crude weapons. Second, you have a magic attack that can deal great damage to groups of enemies but requires mana and a recharge. Your biggest attack, however, is with your man juices. These moves need to be charged but can bring every enemy to his knees.
While most of the time every inhabitant is peaceful, sometimes you must resort to violence and then the world turns against you. You have three enemy types, regular, large and special. Regulars go down with one hit, large ones take some more damage and specials, like bosses and demons, will need a serious beatdown to be defeated.
In the beginning, the controls can be a bit much as you need to remember a bunch of buttons and combinations for all the moves, yet you can get around with only a basic list. Your character moves freely and fast around the map, making the gameplay pretty fun and hectic. There are a bunch of levels but there is a clear pattern to them. The same formula is used over and over, as you do one level in Gay Bay, then do a small rescue mission, rinse and repeat. You can get through the game quite quickly, but there are a bunch of side-modes to play and alternate costumes to unlock.
Conclusion
Wanking Simulator is a fun game out of which you can get some serious laughs. The diversity of characters and funny graphics may be suited for everyone. The game might not have good music, but the voice acting is quite decent. The most important fact is that the gameplay is light, fun and carnage inducing. While the story can be quite short, there are a few extra modes to keep you company.
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