Developer: Punching Donut
Publisher: EastAsiaSoft
Platform: PC, Switch (2), PS4, PS5
Tested on: Switch 2
Book of Korvald – Review
We’re not afraid to go against the flow. As the world eagerly awaits the arrival of GTA VI and video game publishers are scrambling to push out as many titles as possible before the release window of Rockstar’s behemoth game, we’re… fishing a title out of our backlog? It has been a while since we’ve done one of our irregular backlog reviews, but this game has been waiting to be reviewed since February. The honour goes to Book of Korvald, a Metroidvania about… well, let’s skip the introduction and get straight to business. Strap in, this is going to be a weird one… and not in the good way.
Story
Set in early Medieval Scandinavia, Book of Korvald features an unconventional narrative blend of Old Norse dark fantasy, Christian-inspired mythology, cosmic horror, and a half-hearted attempt at erotica. Korvald is the name of our protagonist, an elderly scribe whose village is destroyed by crusaders. After swallowing an artifact, Korvald is captured, tortured and even blinded. While imprisoned, he makes a pact with Qhroth’un, a floating, tentacled, eldritch cosmic entity, who grants him immense power in exchange for his knowledge. It also turns our geriatric hero into a horny bastard: as he goes on a murderous rampage, his essence builds up, and the only way to keep things under control is by engaging in acts of the flesh. We’ll leave the details up to your imagination, but we can tell you that the juvenile writing and heavy profanity weren’t our cup of tea.
Graphics
This isn’t going to be a thing, is it? We previously looked at Love Chemistry: Sibella’s Formula, a formerly R-rated platformer that had its adult content cut for the Switch release. Book of Korvald is cut from the same cloth. The PC version of the game is a lot… steamier if the screenshots on Steam and itch.io are anything to go by. The Switch port gets rid of all the naughty bits. It’s not that we wanted to see Korvald’s old man dong in action, mind you, but if the story if anything to go by, sex is an integral part of the game. What’s left is a dirty, renaissance-flavoured grimdark aesthetic, with low production values. Character designs are bizarre and grotesque, but because the game adopts the “paper doll” animation style, their movements resemble stiff marionettes rather than threatening eldritch abominations. You’d expect a game with such cheap visuals not to be too taxing, but visual performance isn’t up to snuff. Frame rate skips and even occasional freezes are common, as are brief loading states where the game is still processing your inputs.
Sound
In terms of music, Book of Korvald delivers exactly what you’d expect: a dramatic, over-the-top orchestral soundtrack. Oddly enough, the music doesn’t adapt to what is happening on-screen, and there are even long stretches of silence between tunes. Ambience and sound effects are adequate but nothing special. The voice acting, on the other hand, is outright atrocious. Korvald himself straddles the line between hamming things up and phoning them in, with the rest of the cast seemingly not taking their grimdark dialogue seriously.
Gameplay
Strip away Book of Korvald’s “erotic” content and you’re left with an underwhelming 2D Metroidvania platformer. The Metroidvania part is about as by-the-book as it gets. You navigate across a large map that comprises 30 levels, where fodder enemies and bosses await you. Along the way, you’ll collect gear and complete simple NPC quests. The game’s main gimmick lies in the naughty bits: it’s tied to Korvald’s subtly named lust meter. Our hero automatically regenerates health, which simultaneously fills this separate meter. Once this is full, health regeneration stops until Korvald mates with a female enemy. This recruits the recipient of his pheromones as a follower who assists him in combat, provides support or unlocks specific environmental paths. The lust meter can be somewhat controlled by having Korvald drink alcohol from his flask, which reduces urge levels while boosting his defenses. Although the in-game text explicitly glorifies Korvald’s alcohol usage and sexual prowess, you’re never shown anything inappropriate, which is odd given that the game still boasts an 18+ rating.
Now, if Book of Korvald was just your bog-standard Metroidvania platformer with a sex-themed mechanic tacked on, the Switch version might’ve still been worth playing for the Metroidvania gameplay, even with the blatant censorship. Unfortunately, the game doesn’t get its gameplay basics right. Controls are stiff and awkward, and button inputs are often registered with a delay. It’s not always clear which objects are interactive, which results in quite a few unfair deaths because something that seemed like a background detail turned out to be an obstacle that instantly killed Korvald. On the other hand, the game’s balance is off due to those companion followers, who remove the challenge from boss fights. Add to this a vague quest log, a map that is difficult to navigate, and a pointlessly tacked-on fishing minigame, and you’ve got a game that quite frankly isn’t fun to play.
Playing through Book of Korvald should take you around 10 hours, although we’re left wondering why you’d want to do so. The game’s main reason for existence is to see an elderly chap get it on with curvy nuns and vaguely female-shaped cosmic horrors. We’re not even going to judge you for wanting to see that, but be aware that you’ll have to go for the PC version if that is what you want to see. Adding insult to injury, the heavily censored Switch version will still set you back €19.99. Oof. There are plenty of better Metroidvania games in that price range on the platform, making this port of Book of Korvald an easy pass.
Conclusion
We’re not going to drag down Book of Korvald for being, in essence, a porn game. However, the blatant removal of sex content only highlights how bad of a game this is without being able to ogle the private parts of those female enemies. From the juvenile presentation to the poor performance and janky controls, this is a book best left unread. If you’re desperate enough to want to play Book of Korvald, then the PC version is the way to go. Otherwise, spend your cash on a good Metroidvania in the same price range, like Hollow Knight.
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