Director: Peter Malota
Distributor: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Duration: 92 minutes
Kill’em All (DVD) – Movie Review
JCVD, otherwise known as Jean-Claude Van Damme, one of the last active 80’s/90’s action heroes that isn’t really showing any signs of slowing down, passes our revue once again, even though it has been some time for us since we last had to review one of his flicks. Kill’em All already sounds cheesy to start with, and when investigating the plot further, we believe it’s time for the aged actor to slow down and be a little more picky when approached for different roles. He has shown his colors more than once, but also played in flops more than an actor should. Sadly Kill’em All proved to be one of the latter, and here’s why.
The movie starts off with a battered Philip (Jean-Claude Van Damme) making his way to his car, while flashbacks of a hefty fight go through his head. Mere moments later we are taken to a scene where two FBI agents are interrogating a nurse, Suzanne (Autumn Reeser), who happened to be dragged in the middle of the fight that we just saw, or at least, of which we just saw a few snippets. From here on out it’s all about what Suzanne tells the FBI agents, who find her story hard to believe, as everyone else in the nearly inactive hospital was brutally murdered one way or another.
Suzanne starts by telling the agents about a sudden emergency where several victims were brought in the hospital, which only has a limited amount of staff members, as most of the hospital has been closed down and is now vacant. Among one of the victims was a man who seemed to have a concussion and a cut in his arm, who later proved to be Philip. He requests Suzanne for help, but before he can properly tell her what is going on, the hospital is invaded by people who seem like mercenaries, trying to murder Philip. From here on out it’s all about survival, disposing those who are after Philip and consequently Suzanne, and live to see another day. Somewhere in all of this a plot about the Serbian war is thrown in, which feels odd, misplaced and overall ridiculous at times, safe for a few points that add a small hint of something more to the story.
Overall the movie moves more than fast enough and you’ll get more than enough action. Only the story is rather messy, feels like it has been done many times before, and in many ways, even for a cheesy action movie things feel extremely cheesy. Sadly, the plot itself is also somewhat unconvincing, as it all revolves around Philip’s father being murdered when he was a child, by the hands of the Serbian minister. Sadly choosing Jean-Claud Van Damme as the lead actor, who looks as old as said minister in the ‘present’, makes the whole rather unbelievable. A few small plot twists happen at the end, but even those feel a bit borrowed from other movies. Even the action sequences feel a bit bland and boring. We realize that Van Damme isn’t a prancing young man anymore, but still, there’s more gunplay than actual proper martial arts sequences to be found in Kill’em All.
If the casting was based on the story, mistakes were made to cast Jean-Claude Van Damme for the role of Philip. Seeing all the other ‘mercenaries’ are young guys, he feels out of place, as well as for the reasons mentioned above. Of course, we reckon JCVD was casted simply to give the movie a boost in the action movie world. Other acting choices were decent, but even then Autumn Reeser feels a bit unconvincing and the script must have been horrible as she repeats the same cheesy lines over and over, albeit with a slight change of phrasing said remarks. Peter Stormare is a nice touch as an FBI agent, but even his face betrays that there’s more to him than meets the eye.
As expected from a movie such as this, where action takes the limelight, the DVD edition of Kill’em all doesn’t come with any extras. Truth be told, you’re not missing anything when it comes to extra content, as the movie is a basic action experience that easily speaks for itself. Would it have been nice to get some special content? Sure. Are you missing anything with the lack of extras? Not at all.
Conclusion
Kill’em All is one of those movies that can be enjoyed by those who love a good cheesy action movie when the time calls for it, or when they’re feeling rather brain-dead for the day. Nonetheless, this movie doesn’t offer much in terms of acting quality, originality and even the action sequences feel subpar for a JCVD movie. Nonetheless, if you have nothing better to do, and enjoy some needless violence, this one might prove to be entertaining to watch once and never again after that.
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